Understanding mental health is critical for leaders. I know. I am a leader. I have a mental health challenge.
This month is mental health awareness month. Last month I had the opportunity to share my story with an audience at the American Chamber of Commerce in Japan (ACCJ) and the Tokyo English Lifeline (TELL). It was the first time to stand on stage and talk about my condition as publically and openly. After my challenges I thought it important to model the right behavior to set a psychologically safe environment so that we can all discuss these issues. While on the day the speech was more adlib, I'd like to share the script I prepared so that more people can learn from my experience.
If you’re reading this article because you too are struggling – you are not alone. Others are here to help. TELL – the Tokyo English Lifeline offers a helpline if you’re struggling. Find out more at telljp.com or call for help at 03-5774-0992. Don’t suffer alone.
My Story
I could spend hours in that massage chair. It was one of the perks of Google that helped me cope.
I was constantly tired. Unable to think. Unable to concentrate. It was April of 2010, and like today the cherry blossoms were blooming. But the thoughts in my head were dark.
Some days I just couldn’t get out of bed. A feeling of utter worthlessness came upon me. Then I started to think dying was better.
I was about 18 months into my new role at YouTube. I had a great career. I joined NTT DoCoMo at the launch of the i-mode service. For five years at Disney, I was responsible for entertaining families online. As a child, I had always been a high performer. I was a graduate of the Royal Military College of Canada – Canada’s top military academy. I had progressed through 5 roles and promotions in 10 years and was ready for something even more exciting at Google.
But by June of 2010, all I could think about was how to make it end.
It was challenging to work within the Google business culture and work style. Google was faster-paced. Chat, mail, phones – we were connected 24/7. It was my first time experiencing a manager in a different time zone, and negative feedback was direct. About two months into my role, I was told, “you know, David, you’re not as good as you interview.”
Rather than being knocked down, I went into overdrive to demonstrate my capabilities. A year later, my performance was well on track.
But by that point, the damage was done. And my mania was followed by a major depressive episode. By June 2010, I was seriously considering suicide.
While my wife and parents were beside themselves and wanted to help, my lifeline came from an astute HR professional. He recognized the signs of unexplained absence and lack of focus and called me aside one day. We talked, and within 48 hours, I spoke to the company’s doctor, who then referred me to a mental clinic.
The clinic first diagnosed me with depression and recommended two months’ leave. HR accelerated the process to get me unplugged as quickly as he could. I talked to my new manager, who was an ex-F18 naval aviator, and his response was straightforward, and it encouraged me:
“If the Doc says you’re grounded, you’re grounded.”
– My Google Manager
Two months became three, but the rest, routine, and exercise slowly got me back on track. Support from my wife and parents helped. My team members were great.
After two months of weekly visits to my psychiatrist, he changed my diagnosis to bipolar disorder. He identified that perhaps it had always been present in the high-performance, no-sleep lifestyle I led for the first ten years of my career. The change in environment, routine, and sleep patterns likely triggered my first real noticeable depressive incident after moving to Google.
I wish I could say my story ended there. I returned to the office and the support of my peers and team. My manager never mentioned it afterward. I had promotions and successive career advancements in YouTube, and nine years later, I moved to a new opportunity as General Manager of Discovery for Japan.
There are always apprehensions about a new opportunity and should I be more open about my situation. I was transparent with HR and shared with some trusted colleagues, but I was unsure how and when to tell my boss. One year after the start of the pandemic, I couldn’t delay. It had been a tough year as a business leader, and I had let some of my coping mechanisms slide. I called my new manager up and told him I was having dark thoughts again.
Like the cool F18 pilot before him, he quickly said “unplug” and take time off. HR and my peers, and my entire team here in Japan, some of them here today, were incredibly supportive. Two months later, I was back in good form, and today I am feeling good. The lesson, though, is that a mental health challenge needs to be understood and managed, both individually and by leaders, organizations, and society.
Bipolar Disorder and How I Manage
Bipolar disorder is often first misdiagnosed as it often presents itself as depression. In my case, it took several months, even years, to get a stable set of medications to manage. Bipolar disorder is marked by periods of highs, called mania, and periods of lows called depression. It is often still referred to by its other name, manic depression.
Its impact on populations differs worldwide, but it ranges from 0.5% to about 3% of adults worldwide. It is just one of the many mental health challenges that approximately 10% of Americans suffer in the workplace or 1 in 5. These mental challenges are not new, but they are becoming more pronounced and identifiable in a world in turmoil, with a pandemic, and more connected than before.
In a recent survey, 84% of people suffering from bipolar say it has impacted their work. I would agree. Being away from work, I felt I was letting the team and the business down. Even now, when I’m feeling unwell, I sometimes need to change a meeting to give myself an extra break.
But if understood, accepted, and managed, great things can happen. Many people operate very everyday lives, provided they manage their mental health. As this short list shows, many creatives, business people, and politicians have achieved great things while they’ve had challenges.
What’s most important in the workplace is to identify the signs and support those who are successfully managing their conditions. I have four main mechanisms to manage my bipolar disorder.
Medicine
The first is medicine. Like one would take medicine for a physical condition, it is essential to treat it with medication for a mental disorder. Give your employees the time they might need to see their doctor regularly to keep assessing dosage and effectiveness.
Sleep
The second is sleep. A regular amount of sleep is critical in managing all mental disorders. It is also a key to any resilience in the workplace. Consider your team members’ sleeping habits and what you can do to provide them that space. Late-night calls with HQ in the US or Europe break up sleep habits. Instead, find other ways of communicating and information sharing.
Routine
The third is routine. I try to keep a regular schedule with the same wake and sleep times every day, a typical lunch, and 2 to 3 breaks during the day. These need not be long, but enough to push back from the desk and maybe go for a short walk. Short breaks are also a standard resilience tactic. Think about scheduling and deadlines with your team.
Exercise
The fourth is exercise and nutrition. One doesn’t have to be a marathon runner, but a healthy body is a critical component of a successful management plan for a mental health condition. As you can all tell, this is the one I struggle with the most, especially as lousy eating is a coping mechanism for stress. Rather than eating, go out for a walk.
Best Assignments
Apart from giving employees the environment to manage their mental conditions, help them find the best way to leverage their unique abilities that their conditions may enhance.
Research points to some links between bipolar disorder and creativity. As suggested by the list of those with bipolar earlier, many people with bipolar can be very creative.
Later at Google, for example, I changed managers. I opened up about my condition early on, riding in the rain in the back of a taxi in New York. My new manager was incredibly understanding. But then he turned to me and said,
“but you know what’s funny, you’re not very creative….”
“Thanks,” I thought.
– You don’t need to be van Gogh to be creaitve…
I don’t have to cut off my ear like van Gogh and paint some sunflowers to be creative. For example, my communication style is expressive and story-based, and visual, leading to a particular type of skill in my occupation as a media and entertainment leader.
A Call to Action
My call to action for all of us – as leaders, managers, peers, and team members – is first to be aware.
Discovery leverages our internal communications platform to have dialogues and raise awareness as a simple first step. Last month, I participated in an online interview with two other colleagues about bipolar disorder. I would be lying if I were to say Discovery has it perfect. We’re trying like every other company.
But beyond internal communications, awareness, and campaigns, the most important way to tap into the diversity of employees with mental health challenges is to be open and supportive as individual managers, peers, and employees. If that first HR business partner hadn’t spotted the signs, and if my managers hadn’t supported me, I would not have advanced as I have. I might have left the workforce, or in those dark days, something far worse.
Listen. Show empathy. Understand. Encourage. Mental health conditions are no different from physical ones. Help your employee manage their condition, and they will do great things.
If you’re reading this article because you too are struggling – you are not alone. Others are here to help. TELL – the Tokyo English Lifeline offers a helpline if you’re struggling. Find out more at telljp.com or call for help at 03-5774-0992. Don’t suffer alone.
